Moving to Ca and Falling Flat on my Face
Blog: #1
Title: I moved 3,000 miles away from home to California after graduation and fell flat on my face
Intro
Hello everyone, so as the title suggests I moved to California after graduation to pursue my startup only to… fall flat on my face. I wouldn’t say I completely “fell flat” as I did learn a few things about myself during my time out here but more or less, my plans did not pan out the way I thought they would. In this blog, I’ll be talking about my thoughts leading up to the move, my experience during the move, and what my future plans look like. This will be a pretty detailed blog so if you’re a reader, I hope you enjoy. If you’d like to watch the video version of this blog here is a link to the video! I hope that this will reach someone who is in a similar position and provide some comfort while they are taking similar risks in their life. I know it can feel lonely but I’m here to tell you that you’re not in it alone! It is scary to move thousands of miles away from your friends and loved ones to pursue something that has a high chance of failure but you know is worth trying.
Before the Move
Before the move, I packed up my childhood into boxes for storage in the basement—a chaotic five-day ordeal. Deciding what to take and what to leave behind was tough, especially when trying to donate as much as possible, adding to the confusion.
Aside from packing, I was also preparing to graduate college! Go Bulldogs! I also spent time saying goodbye to friends and family and figuring out the logistics of moving my belongings to California. The overwhelming emotions of saying goodbye during such a busy time led to many late nights questioning my decision. One of the hardest parts of leaving home was saying goodbye to the small, tight-knit state like Rhode Island for the vastness of California. Rhode Island has this sense of community where everyone knows each other which for me, is something I highly value. For some, it is not their cup of tea and I can understand why that may be so. I just think it has so many great perks! The farewell to my core support system made the move ten times harder. I also had some people from the past that I never thought I’d ever hear from reach out days before moving. Shout out to you if you know who YOU are. Maybe, I’ll write a blog about that person someday, lots of history to unpack there, haha!
Moving on! I can’t say that the entire time leading up to the move was completely stressful. I had a lot of fun and excitement throughout those final days. My friends got together for a sendoff party, my sister came home to see me graduate, and I got to spend time planning my life in California! I gave my friends their goodbye letters which I never thought I’d tear up to while writing. Those final days were filled with a lot of tears and careful examination of what I should do with my time out in California.
The Startup
It’s important to mention that the reason why I moved out to California was because of a startup that I have been working on with my co-founder for 6 months, Addre. Some quick background info on the startup! I’ll be sure to write a different blog about it another day and link it here in case anyone is interested. The quick rundown of the startup is that my partner and I were working on building an app to help automate property management for landlords. Back home, I worked as a leasing manager for a property management company and had the opportunity to learn a lot about problems that both landlords and tenants face during and after renting an apartment. With the experience that I gained and the same problems coming up for landlords and tenants, we set out to create a system that would assist landlords in delivering a better service to their tenants while also providing them with a friendly user experience. Ideally, it would also be cheaper than the traditional 6-12% property management companies charge their clients. After 6 months of working on the project, two weeks before moving to California, my co-founder unfortunately had to step away due to personal reasons.
Moving forward into the unknown
With my cofounder leaving, this meant that the plans we had put in place for months to work alongside one another every day were scrapped. It was quite heartbreaking but I understood and respected his decision to step away. I do hope that one day he can come back and work full-time on Addre again!
Now that I was “co-founderless”(I do not think that is a real word), I had two weeks to figure out what the heck the plan was. Initially, I planned on going to as many networking events as I could which, I did! I hoped to possibly meet a new co-founder who can help develop Addre, and or help out in any way. With that in mind, I put together a list of events to attend which, if you are looking for a good networking event to go to in SF for tech, would be SFs Largest Tech Startup, Business & Entrepreneur Networking Soiree. I am not affiliated with them but I met some amazing people at the event I attended and even got a lead out of it!
Initially, I thought that I had a solid plan because I was going to be able to sell the idea in person and have a better shot at convincing people to come on. Man, was I wrong. Regardless, with this plan set in place and my ticket booked, I packed my bags and was on my way to California.
Moving Day
On the day of the move, I remember being extremely emotional. Saying goodbye to my parents, and seeing my father tear up as he dropped me off at the airport. It broke my heart. I remember getting to the airport and feeling this heavy weight on my shoulder and my heart. It was terrifying to leave everything behind. But man, was it exciting!!! With one hand holding my suitcase and the other holding my camera, I set out on my biggest adventure yet! Sitting at the airport, I swiped through tiktoks…doomed scrolled to be honest. My feed was filled with sad graduation videos of how people would miss their university days when they graduated. Looking back at it, I think that seeing these videos helped me feel nostalgic and allowed me to really feel the emotions I was experiencing.
Leaving school behind was a little nerve wracking. It had been the one thing I consistently did everyday for the past 17 years of my life, I also think that those videos helped me because I knew that I was not the only one feeling that way. A lot of my friends talked about how scary it was to graduate but It felt like it took me a little longer to realize how scary it really was. Now, I am not completely saying that you should be terrified of graduating. If you’re still in school and or are getting ready to graduate, the amount of time that you get back in your day to do the things you REALLY want to do is awesome. Seriously, the fact that I am sitting here typing this blog right now is something I do not think I would have been able to do between work, school, and family obligations. That is not to say it’s impossible either for those who want to blog while in college.
Something I also thought about as I sat at the airport was how fun the unknown was. Personally, for me, I enjoy the unknown in terms of the way that my life could go and making the best out of what I have in the moment. I find the unknown both scary and exciting. You’ll never know what the next adventure is, but you have control of the story you want to write for yourself.
Boston to Arizona and eating alone
While sitting on the plane, I remember looking out the window over the city of Boston and saying “I’ll see you later, friend!” A few tears were shed. Something I never thought I’d experience is crying on a plane alone. I know many people have gone through this before for various reasons but experiencing it for myself was quite amazing. Im not sure if amazing is the right word, but it was definitely an interesting experience that I appreciated. You are basically sitting next to a random person, a couple thousand feet in the air, flying over a beautiful city, and tears are just pouring from your eyes. I was terrified to have the people next to me notice but at the same time, I embraced it. That was a moment I will ever forget.
Landing in Arizona for my layover, I felt a good amount of relief but I was starving. I grabbed some Panda Express FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, and sat by myself at the airport eating.
Quick side note, I do not know if it was because I was hungry or if the Airport Panda Express was just that good. I thoroughly enjoyed it! I thought I would dislike it, especially because I knew it was going to be overpriced. I sat at a bench by myself and watched people pass by, going on with their lives. Something I tend to do is people watch. I always wonder, “who are they?”, “whats their story?”, “what are they doing?”, “what are some experiences that they have gone through that would be interesting to hear about?”, and “I wonder if we would get along as friends.” Funny enough, I told one of my friends that I do this and he said I was a weird for doing it! I can see how it is weird but I am genuinely curious about the people that pass by me!
I had a few other thoughts that went through my head as I sat at the Panda Express. The first being, “wow I am actually sitting alone eating Panda Express by myself, in a state I have only been to once before.” I have a few thoughts on this. I know that It is a little strange that I am pointing this out because there are plenty of people who travel the world and do things by themselves, but I want to make it clear that I am a person that does not often go out to eat, and when I do it is usually for special occasions with friends, and I also do not travel often. It was a new experience for me! I’ve eaten either in a classroom and or in my car while working or at school. I cannot remember the last time I sat in a public place and just, ate alone. The second thought that came to mind was, “wow, this is really nice!” I had my favorite podcast playing, MFM, specifically the episode with Darmesh Shah the co-founder of hubspot. Another side note, I highly suggest to those of who are interested in business and building their own company to watch My First Million. The hosts are hilarious and have amazing guests who provide a great deal of insight and knowledge to the world of business. I think that something I have really come to appreciate on this trip was learning to be ok with being alone. I grew up with with a stay at home mom, I always had friends with me if I went out, and never really got to experience what it was like to be completely…alone.
The tunes for the final flight
I remember seeing the sight of Northern California outside of the window. The mountains were breathtaking, the sun was just getting ready to set over the horizon, and the view of San Jose from the plane made me so excited! There were three songs that I kept playing on repeat during this flight. It was, “You’re Gonna Go Far” by Noah Khan, “Coastline” by Hollow Coves, and “Stargazing” by Myles Smith.
“You’re gonna go far” is an amazing song by Noah Khan that talks about how proud he is of his partner leaving and pursuing their life in a different place far from where he is. The lines
“It makes me smile to know when things get hard
Ooh-ooh, You’ll be far from here
Ooh-ooh, you’ll be far from here
And while I clean shit up in the yard
Ooh-ooh, you’ll be far
Ooh-ooh, you’ll be far, far from here”
did not make me think about a partner in particular but it made me think about my parents and how they must have been feeling. I know that they were sad to see me go but were so incredibly supportive throughout the entire move.
Thank you Mom and Dad! I love you both dearly!
“Coastline” by Hollow Coves talks about a person who is leaving home for the “coastline” with a partner. The opening lines
“I’m leaving home for the coastline
Some place under the sun
I feel my heart for the first time
‘Cause now I’m moving on”
were the perfect lines to describe what I was doing and the tune was just so nice and soothing. The line “Cause now i’m moving on” made me think a lot about what I was personally leaving behind and “moving on” from in Rhode Island. Some of the things I was leaving behind other than friends and family were relationships, the business that I had built over years, and the feeling of being “stuck” in the place I grew up in.
“Stargazing” by Myles Smith is a song about how the singer realizing that the love of his life had been “there all along”. Besides the catchy tune and the story, the lines
“Take my heart don’t break it
Love me to my bones
All this time I wasted
You were right there all along”
made me think about California and how I hoped that this adventure would welcome me with open arms and “take my heart” and not break it and “love me to my bones”.
These three songs were on repeat and helped me think about the journey I was taking on and how my life was changing and allowed me to think about how I was growing up as a young adult and how amazing this experience was going to be.
Landing in California & Networking
Stepping off the plane, I remember thinking about how nice the temperature was. It was much better than Rhode Island for sure! My aunt and uncle picked me up and introduced me to Jack and the box’s “tiny tacos” which were AMAZING. I was so excited to have made it and finally get things going.
My first week in California started off great! On the second day we were invited to a concert and tried out a few different types of wine from the local wineries. I met some great people who ranged from VPs of Real estate firms to seasoned project mangers with over 30 years of experience. It was definitely a great start to the trip and I thought it was a “sign” that it was meant to be. After the first few days, I got to work and went searching for a co-founder at the networking events. I rode the 1 hour and 40 minute BART to San Francisco and set out to make some connection. Once I got to the event it was so easy to talk and network with everyone. I have not been to a lot of networking events so initially I felt very uncomfortable. But as soon as I got talking, I began making endless connections. Some of the people I met ranged from Navy Vets who are pursuing their MBA at Berkley to sales people that learned how to code to build apps products. It felt like I was in the right place!
Reality Check
After meeting with plenty of engineers and people interested in joining Addre, I spent a lot of time thinking about what the future of the company was going to be. I took time to analyze what I had learned from my past experiences and thought about how I could apply those lessons towards the future of Addre. The weeks leading up to this, I felt a lot pressure and disappointment from the work I had been doing. To be completely honest, I felt really lost. I felt as if I did not have a clear sense of direction and that I was just taking shots in the dark and see if things would work out. Most of the time, those shots resulted in nothing. The main lesson I learned that I would like to highlight for others perusing a startup is that as a non technical co-founder my job is to bring users, provide capital, and possess a great amount of domain expertise. I thought about how if I were to take on another co-founder there would be a big chance that they would leave again due to financial reasons. Currently in my position, I poses a decent amount of domain expertise but lack the capital to support a technical co-founder and do not have the large volume of clients required to make make our dream possible. Coming to this realization, it felt like I had a major break through. By breaking down the problem I realized that in order to fund this app I would need to establish a steady stream of income because I cannot depend on a co-founder to go without pay for an extended period of time, that by establishing a property management company of my own I will learn how to acquire the customers we were after (landlords), one day be able to convert those landlords onto the platform with ease, and work close with them to understand and resolve their pain points. Coming to this realization restored a great sense of purpose in me. I was able to go back to my fundamentals and do what I knew best, property management. I have spent a total of 2 and a half weeks out here in California at the time of writing this blog and man have I learned so much. This “reality check” has encouraged me to pursue my property management license and build a business of my own in Rhode Island to fund Addre.
Life lessons
I feel as if this trip taught me such a great deal about myself. The first thing I learned was how to be ok with being by myself. I have always struggled with being alone since I was a young and going on this adventure alone forced me out of my comfort zone and learn to be ok with it. Walking into the tenderloin area of SF on accident with my camera out (super scary and dangerous), roaming a new town (Livermore) by myself, and being away from family and friends gave me a lot of time confront the feeling of loneliness and embrace it. The second thing I learned was holding myself accountable for my success. I think that I have done an ok job at achieving the goals I set out for myself, even my startup that is not going in the direction I thought it would, I was forced to start over in a new area without a base and figure out a way to build something for myself that is meaningful. This blog and the YouTube channel is the result of this. Finally, I learned to appreciate genuine friendships. I am not sure what it is, but making friends post grad has been super hard. Thankfully, I got lucky and met someone who introduced me to their friend group, shout out to you Hayley, thank you so much! Something that I have thought a lot about is how fortunate I am to have such amazing friends back at home that I can seriously say will be there for me no matter what and are people I consider my own family. At least for me, I have not been able to find another friend that I have felt the same way about with my friends back at home. It makes me wonder how I can find and develop meaningful friendship in a world where we’re all working and have our own ambitions and goals to pursue. I know my future friends are out there, I can’t wait to meet you sometime soon!
Overall, I would say that even though I came out here and did not get to accomplish what I had in mind, I am thankful for the experience. I will be heading back to Rhode Island soon to pursue my property management license and build my own company. In the mean time, I am going to take in the time that I have left here in California and experience as much as I possibly can. If you made it to the end of this blog, I want to say thank you for reading and following me along on this journey we call Life! I am so excited to see what is in store for both you and I.
Your Friend,
-Solly Nguyen
